Sibling rivalry is a common concern for parents. Children spend as much time, if not more, with siblings as with parents, and it is inevitable that some conflict will arise from time to time.
Sibling rivalry may be worsened by family stresses and tension , or by changes in the family such as separation or moving house. Sometimes conflict between siblings may be worse when one sibling has a chronic medical condition or a disability or learning problem, which necessitates additional parental attention.
The best way for parents to manage sibling rivalry and conflict is generally to keep out of it. Some rivalry is inevitable, and not necessarily a bad thing. The situation is often made worse by parents buying into the argument. Most of the time it is best left to the children to sort things out themselves. Parents should rather establish clear guidelines and set limits on what is acceptable behaviour, and handle it in the way they would handle any aggressive or inappropriate behaviour.
Parents can minimise sibling rivalry by addressing the following issues:
• inform other children of the imminent arrival of a new baby;
• involve other children in helping to care for the new arrival, strongly praising appropriate behaviour, and attempting to ignore behaviour that is inappropriate;
• try to set aside time for each child each day (‘special time’);
• demonstrate to each child the very special individual attributes they alone have; encourage individual activities and interests; allow them to have different activities, appropriate to their ages, such as different bedtimes.
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